Our perceptions about events and our attitudes can contribute to our levels of stress. Thoughts Influence Feelings
Many of us are unaware that our thoughts play a large role in influencing how we feel. This is an important concept because we may not always be able to influence what happens to us but we do have a powerful influence in how we interpret what happens to us and how we deal with it. No matter what happens to us nobody can take this away from us.
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." - Dr Viktor Frankl
Our thoughts have a very powerful effect on our feelings and therefore on the level of stress we encounter. Not everybody exposed to a challenging event will find it stressful, this can be down to how we deal with the potential, challenging stressors.
People often believe it is external events that cause us stress but this is not totally correct.
Psychologist Doctor Richard Lazarus says "stress resides neither in the situation nor in the person it depends on a transaction between the two."
An individual's views, perception, beliefs and expectations play a large role in whether he/she thinks an event is stressful or not.
A = Activating Event - (triggers that cause potential stress)
Life event stressors - Death of a loved one, injury, accidents.
Common stressors - Daily hassles, work, family, relationships.
B = Beliefs
We come into this world with no beliefs, opinions, views or perceptions. From the moment we can talk and listen we start to learn the opinions of our parents, our peers, school etc. We automatically start to use these beliefs as a template to interpret ourselves, other people and the world in general. The problem is that other people may not necessarily have the same template, views and beliefs as us.
We come into this world with no beliefs, opinions, views or perceptions. From the moment we can talk and listen we start to learn the opinions of our parents, our peers, school etc. We automatically start to use these beliefs as a template to interpret ourselves, other people and the world in general. The problem is that other people may not necessarily have the same template, views and beliefs as us.
We use our beliefs to interpret what is happening to us. These beliefs may be accurate, possible, flexible and optimistic, these types of beliefs and thinking skills can help to reduce stress, however a lot of beliefs can be in the form of automatic negative thoughts and if they are rigid, negative, inflexible and pessimistic then this can exacerbate any stress we are under.
C = Consequences
Consequences refer to the feelings that occur as a consequence of our beliefs and self-talk in response to the activating event. The consequences can be in the form of stress, anxiety, depression, anger, irritability, aggression, fear, worry, and frustration etc.
"We can't always influence what others may say or do to us - but we can influence how we react to it!"
Example
There are two people on a train that stops and is held up for 30 minutes. One of the people opens his brief case and gets on with some work and calmly waits until the train starts moving again. While the other person sits, fumes, thinks that it is disgusting and incompetent of the railway company, and that this state of affairs should not happen. The same stressor, yet two entirely different responses, one will trigger the release of stress hormones, the other response won't.
Example
There are two people on a train that stops and is held up for 30 minutes. One of the people opens his brief case and gets on with some work and calmly waits until the train starts moving again. While the other person sits, fumes, thinks that it is disgusting and incompetent of the railway company, and that this state of affairs should not happen. The same stressor, yet two entirely different responses, one will trigger the release of stress hormones, the other response won't.
Getting upset and angry didn't make the train move any faster, and it's the individual's beliefs, thoughts and perceptions that are the key.
It can be useful to break down an event such as the example above using the A+B=C equation:
A= Activating Event
In this case the delayed train is the activating event.
B= Beliefs
In the example the first person seems to have no fixed beliefs about whether trains should run on time or not he thinks "Yes, it's a pain, but getting upset won't make the train move any faster and luckily this doesn't happen every day, we shall be moving soon.
The second person however, believes "trains should always run on time and it's disgusting and incompetent of the railway company if they do not".
C= Consequences
The outcome for the two people in our example is that the first person does not get stressed, he gets out his work and in fact sees the delay as an opportunity to get some work done which otherwise he may not have had the time to do in the office or may have had to take home to do, so he has positive consequences to his beliefs about the activating event.
The second person however has become very stressed, feeling very upset, very angry, his response has triggered his fight/flight response but it has not made the train move any faster and he will probably continue to feel angry and upset long after the train has resumed and got him to his destination; he has not been able to use the time effectively and will probably have difficulty being efficient in his work later in the day because of this stress response during the train journey.
Many stressful events that happen to us can be looked at in this way using the A+B=C equation to help us see how what we thought and believed about a situation led to the way we felt and the level of stress we experienced.
Changing our self-talk to a less rigid, less pessimistic, more positive, thinking style will help us cope more effectively and make us more able to deal with the challenges we encounter.
It can be useful to break down an event such as the example above using the A+B=C equation:
A= Activating Event
In this case the delayed train is the activating event.
B= Beliefs
In the example the first person seems to have no fixed beliefs about whether trains should run on time or not he thinks "Yes, it's a pain, but getting upset won't make the train move any faster and luckily this doesn't happen every day, we shall be moving soon.
The second person however, believes "trains should always run on time and it's disgusting and incompetent of the railway company if they do not".
C= Consequences
The outcome for the two people in our example is that the first person does not get stressed, he gets out his work and in fact sees the delay as an opportunity to get some work done which otherwise he may not have had the time to do in the office or may have had to take home to do, so he has positive consequences to his beliefs about the activating event.
The second person however has become very stressed, feeling very upset, very angry, his response has triggered his fight/flight response but it has not made the train move any faster and he will probably continue to feel angry and upset long after the train has resumed and got him to his destination; he has not been able to use the time effectively and will probably have difficulty being efficient in his work later in the day because of this stress response during the train journey.
Many stressful events that happen to us can be looked at in this way using the A+B=C equation to help us see how what we thought and believed about a situation led to the way we felt and the level of stress we experienced.
Changing our self-talk to a less rigid, less pessimistic, more positive, thinking style will help us cope more effectively and make us more able to deal with the challenges we encounter.
